Anxious FLux

Visual Art – San Diego, CA

My journey with art has been lifelong. I remember mornings as a young child, maybe 6 or 7, waking up with the sun and pencils, paper, markers and gel pens to create worlds of fantasy and beasts of my own creation. I found inspiration in the world I grew up in- among the lush, vivid trees and gloomy, humid rains of the Georgia, with rolling green fields filled with horses and cows. I remember obsessing over movies like Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and the Dark Crystal, playing a vital role in the way I viewed the world and fantasy. That, along with a healthy saturation of Disney and 90’s animal classics such as Milo and Otis, Andre, and Black Beauty ignited the love of animals that has never wavered, becoming my favorite subjects of all. Through adolesence, my interest in art was pushed out by the need to be accepted by my peers and growing into a teenager desperate to find her place. When I was 17, I was diagnosed with PMDD, and through several years of family tragedies, was later diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I don’t say much about those years... They were some of the scariest, hardest years of my life and my mental health. I was medicated until I was 21, eventually taking myself off of the medication because of the complete extinction of all my emotions. Weightlifting, clean eating, a healthy relationship with myself and my now husband, slowly acclimating myself back to school and work with a therapist helped me grow tremendously… but panic and anxiety attacks still occurred. I wanted to have control of my life, of myself and my mind, but the answer alluded me. Until I rediscovered my passion for art. This is how Anxious Flux came to be. My art is a reflection of me- the child I was, the person I’ve grown from, and the soul I am today. Images of dark fantasy, the awe of spirituality and the beauty of nature are all reflections of how I have lived and learned in life: dark colors and colorful contrast, details of details and metallic sheen. I don’t believe I have a “style” per say, but the flexibility in my work fits my deeply empathetic and emotional being. While I have drifted to and from my artistic passions over my young life, I know now that it is my calling to do something in this arena, for nothing else calms my soul the way my art does. 2017 was a fantastic year. I married the love of my life and joined him across the country in San Diego, California, where we now reside. And it was in this city that I rediscovered something that was lost to me: my love art. When I am creating, there is a shift in my mind- a flux- that comes over me. My mind becomes quiet and I can only see what my hand is trying to create. I’ve always “seen” where I want my hands will take me. Now, I use all of these pieces of myself to create and cultivate my peace. ...more